Kanda: The Littlest Elf
by Takanami
Summary: On the night before Christmas, all the zombie-Komuvitans had finally been cleared out. Lavi was waiting by the fireplace with cheer, and Kanda was pissed at everyone near. Linali waited for Santa to come, but Allen didn't for he had childhood none. Then the Noah and Millennium came in a flash, and Christmas had started with a mighty big crash. Promise: Story not in poem format.


a/n: First of all, the writers, who are currently experiencing a surge of childhood, are now unable to write anything even remotely violent unless it is for the sake of children's wonder and safety. We are also extremely thankful for it returning our love and innocence to us. There are things we forget about when we grow older. Stories like _Rise of the Guardians_ remind us of this.

Out of the kindness of our hearts (erm, this might have sparked when that kindness started to wear off), we decided to share our newfound love with the cast of _D. Gray-Man_.

Disclaimer: We don't own...well much of anything really, considering that we're still living under our parents' roof and such, but that's a whole 'nother issue. Part of the lovely nothing we wished we owned are anything _Rise of the Guardians_ and _D. Gray-Man_ related. We also wish that we owned the rights to Google, but that's not coming along any faster.

yet another a/n: This occurs immediately the zombie incident and before they relocated, so the Order is still in...not-so-good shape.

* * *

"Guys, you need to get to sleep!" Linali said stoutly. She was talking to her three friends at the moment. "Come on, guys, it's eleven thirty at night!"

"Who cares what time it is? I was going to go out to train," Kanda muttered under his breath irritably.

"It's Christmas! All of you, to bed!"

"I know!" Lavi said, way too eagerly. "Want to stay up to see if he comes down the chimney with me, Linali? Allen?"

Linali smiled. "He won't come if you do!"

"We don't even have fucking chimney, retards!" Kanda snapped. "How old are you guys, anyway?"

"Shut the hell up, dumbass! If Lavi wants to believe in old fat guys breaking and entering to deliver presents, let him do it in peace! Despite the fact that he would _clearly_ be on the naughty list, he can still hold childish dreams!"

Lavi reached across the table and grabbed a hold of Allen. "You're saying you don't believe in Santa?!"

"Lavi, please get off me!" He leaned away from his friend, as his head was way too close for comfort.

Linali stood up from the table in the lunch room and gave them all a significant look. "You all better be gone by the time I get back. Got it?"

"Where are you off to?" Allen asked.

"To visit that poor girl who's stuck here for Christmas," Linali said, referring to the small child who had been brought in with a group of Finders. The girl hadn't spoken since she had gotten there, considering she had seen most of her family violently murdered feet away by the akuma. The only reason they hadn't gone on to kill her was because she had been hiding in a closet in a game of hide-and-go-seek at the time. "It's going to be hard enough without anyone caring to add to it."

"I'll go with you," Allen said, standing up.

"Yeah," Lavi agreed. "Kanda?"

Kanda glared.

"You know, you might scare her. Stay here. Or go to sleep."

"Shut up." Kanda stood up and left the room. The others shrugged and went to the infirmary.

The room was clean and almost empty. The only one in it was the little girl, who hadn't said a word since she had arrived there. She was curled into a ball with her back against the wall, off the bed and on the floor. Linali gestured for the others to stay back when they got there, and crouched down in front of her.

"Hey, it's me," she said softly. "Remember?"

There was no response.

"Maybe not… Are you tired? You should go to sleep soon…"

Allen and Lavi conferred for a few moments about the lack of blankets in the room. Allen walked through the long room to the other end, where he passed through a door. He returned about five minutes later with a bundle of blankets in his arms. "These are all I could find. The rest are being washed right now, or are in the dryer." He set them down on a bed next to the girl and Linali. He took the top one and passed it to Linali. She put it around the girl.

The girl looked up in confusion. Linali put a hand on her head and rubbed it gently. "It's going to be okay, alright?"

* * *

A thud from somewhere in the building woke Allen. His head jerked up off the cold floor, and he muffled a groan. His entire body was sore from sleeping on the cold cement for the last few hours. Lavi jumped in surprise from the sound at the same time next to him. The little girl was in between Allen and Linali for warmth. The heating had given out a few hours ago, and the four had fallen asleep cuddled on the floor for warmth. They had gotten a pile of three blankets on top of them together, but that had been all that weren't being washed.

Allen sat up slightly. The blankets started to fall off, and he tugged them down so the cold air couldn't creep into the small nest of warmth. He reached over and tapped Linali. He hissed her name to wake her up. She somehow hadn't heard the thud. "Wake up! Something's wrong."

"What do you mean?" she blearily asked as she sat up.

"You didn't hear that?! It sounded like a part of the building just collapsed!" Lavi quietly declared.

Linali groaned, laying back to go back to sleep. "Komui probably just let a Komulin loose again."

"Who knew she was such a pessimist before her morning coffee?" Lavi muttered, quietly so only Allen could hear. He slipped out from under the blankets, instantly regretting it as his feet touched the cold, wood floor. "I'm going to go check around, see what that was."

"I'll go too," Allen added. As he dug himself out, he noticed there were considerably more blankets on them. It seemed like the rest had come out from the washer. He assumed the Matron had stopped by to prevent them from getting colds. He never checked it out, and therefore didn't learn that she had been fast asleep. There had been one other in the Order still awake, though, who had happened to walk past the infirmary after coming in from the forest.

Linali sighed. "That worried about it? I'll go too," she said, starting to get up.

"No, don't," Lavi said quietly. "If there's a problem, we'll make a lot of noise. Someone has to stay here to keep her safe."

Linali frowned slightly, but nodded. She was more alert now, and didn't look like she was going to be going back to sleep any time soon. Her two friends left the room cautiously, sleep being wiped from their eyes.

The girl shifted a few minutes later as the cold started to seep in from the blankets where the other two had gotten up. Linali adjusted the blankets so they were tucked underneath her. She murmured to the girl to try to get her to go back to sleep. The young exorcist rubbed the girl's back gently.

A scream pierced the silence. The young child jerked away with a sound of surprise. Linali scrambled out from beneath the blankets. "Stay here. Don't go anywhere," Linali told the girl firmly. She contemplated telling the girl something soothing for a moment, but dismissed it. If the girl was scared, she was less likely to move. Linali ran from the room, looking down the hallway to see if there was anyone there. An akuma was flying down the hall, laughing. It spotted her and grabbed the back of her uniform, carrying her off down the hall.

* * *

Most of the building had been leveled. The akumas had blown off the top three levels, and killed multiple Finders. Allen and Lavi had been knocked out shortly after arriving at the entry point the akumas had come through, and Linali had been overpowered by a multitude of akuma. The Exorcists were sitting or on their knees in the center or the rubble, hands and feet bound. Most of the Finders were in similar positions, but there were so many that the akuma were still going through them.

Tyki turned his head and muttered to the Millennium, "Hey. The one Exorcist is missing."

"Which?" the old fat guy, who wasn't Santa Claus, asked.

"The… the one, you know?"

"…No."

Road caught on. "Yeah! That one! The one dude! With the… the thing!"

The Millennium sighed. "Please be more descriptive."

"The sharp weapon!"

"That doesn't narrow it down at all!"

"What do you want, Earl?" Allen demanded, having to yell because he was about fifty yards away. It could have been said he was all the way across the room, since they were both in the area of where the dining hall had stood, but there was no ceiling left to allow the area to be called a room.

"People are refusing to create akuma. The ones that are have found ways of… revolting. And the akuma can no longer function in cold places," the Millennium snarled. "What have you done?"

Allen blinked in surprise. "What? No, we didn't do-"

"_Yes, you did_! If you don't tell us what you did, there will be a price to pay!"

"We don't know what you're talking about!"

Jasdero gave a rough cough that turned into a hacking fit as he tried to get the Millennium's attention in a dignified way. Only half of that worked. "Hey, we've searching the building for the girl that the akuma missed, but they can't find her. She's hiding somewhere."

"Keep looking. She'll turn up." The Millennium turned back to the Exorcists. "Who _does_ know what's been happening?"

* * *

Kanda came in from training sweaty and disgruntled. There was too much damn ice on the ground. It was not helpful to practice friggin' _ice skating_ with a katana. There weren't many people in the hallway, but any that were quickly moved out of the way. He stalked through several levels of the building before finally calming down a bit. He had slowed to a regular walking pace by the time he passed the infirmary. He shot a glance in, just to see if the other three were still in there. Not only were they there, they were asleep _on the floor_.

Frowning, he walked in on silent feet. His frown deepened when he noticed they were on lying on the cement floor with nothing beneath them and all three blankets they had been able to find on top. With an irritable sigh, he stalked to the door at the back of the infirmary. It led to a hall that connected to a bathroom and the wash room. He went to the latter, switched the laundry loads, and returned to the infirmary a few minutes later to unceremoniously dump about seven blankets on them. But they were evenly distributed over them. By the time he had cleaned off his sword again, out of habit more than anything, and then taken a shower, the last load of laundry only had twenty minutes left. He sat on the washer and waited irritably, half ready to just leave. Somehow, he waited it out, and proceeded to dump the last nine blankets (How had they all _fit_ in there? Large washer…) on the four before leaving. Not his fault if they all died from heat stroke, but since he could see puffs of his breath as a result of the heating going out, they probably wouldn't.

He found the science division's office with only a few people left in it. Komui and Reever were playing a game of cards, both with coats and blankets on, while Johnny and another scientist were asleep by the fire. Kanda paused at the door for a moment, but decided he didn't want to suffer through the night cold _and_ with irritable people.

A few minutes later found him in the dining room. There was a fireplace at the far end, but it hadn't been used in a long time because they had to open a flap in the chimney so the air could get out, like in all fireplaces. Unfortunately, this one had a ventilation problem, and cold air from outside almost always got in. Considering the air couldn't make it any worse, Kanda decided to risk it. Apparently, no one else had decided to do this. He got the fire going, left to get a blanket from his room, and then returned. He nodded off with his head on his folded arms ten minutes later.

He woke up ten minutes before Allen and Lavi did. Instead of to a crash, he woke to an odd shuffling sound. Out of reflex, he knocked the blanket off, swung his legs from the bench, and was standing less than a second later with his hand already pulling out the katana. Mugen was pointed at the man in front of him at the same time twin Cossack blades were pointed at him… by _Santa_?

Or gangster Santa, because he was pretty sure the standard issue Santa didn't have tattoos or swords.

He would know.

He'd met the guy before.

Not that Santa had known.

"Who the hell are you?" Kanda snarled.

"I just scratched my fanny on your fireplace, I've got jolly looking clothes on, and I've got this ridiculously long beard. Who do you _think_ I am?! The real question is, who are you?"

"If you're Santa," Kanda replied snidely, "shouldn't you know?"

"There are over a billion kids in the world! You honestly expect me to remember _everyone_?!"

Even before he finished, Kanda snapped, "Yes."

The old fat guy eyed him. "You have high expectations of people, I can tell."

"Very observant. Now get your ass back up that chimney before I shove it up there."

Santa snorted, but the laugh died from his expression briefly. "Well, for the sake of it, Kanda, I think I'll stay here and sort this conversation out." He sheathed the two swords easily and sat down at the table. He glanced around. "You guys do remodeling here or something?"

Kanda lowered his katana and stepped back. "The room got destroyed. Again."

Santa laughed a loud, Russian, bellowing laugh. "Komui let loose a Komulin again, didn't he?"

"Worse, if that's possible," the Japanese man muttered.

Santa let out another laugh. "Well, it was to be expected." He thumped the table. "Not the same oak as last year. That one was stronger."

"Yeah. The tables were the first to go. Couldn't repair the wall without moving past the mess of tables." He sat down a few feet away from the old man.

Santa's laugh died off as he regarded Kanda solemnly. "Did you know that the only people who can see me are ones who believe in me?"

"How the hell would I know that?"

"No reason. I just find it odd that the only person over eighteen who still believes in me is someone who cusses constantly and delivers death threats to his close friends as a gesture of affection. The world works in strange ways, I suppose."

"You kept tabs on me? Most people would call that stalking."

"What do you call it?"

"Abusing freaky ass powers."

Santa chuckled slightly without opening his mouth. "I was aware about what happened. I just don't know the full story."

Kanda remained silent. Santa smiled at him. Kanda glared back.

"Come on. Can't hurt. We're the only two here. Everyone else in the building is asleep. I know, because Sandy came with me."

"Alma and I were bored. He wanted to stay up late because it was Christmas and he wanted to see Santa Claus. I didn't give a shit either way, and I told him that. But he pestered me all night long to stay awake, and in the end, we both saw you drop presents off after climbing through the vents. And you saw us. And Alma basically attacked you, wanting to know how the reindeers flew and if the sled had rockets to get you places faster."

Santa nodded, thanking him for sharing without saying anything.

"He died four weeks later."

"I know. I was sorry to hear about that."

Something collapsed elsewhere in the building. Someone screamed a few moments later, and some smaller thuds came from nearby. Kanda drew his katana for the second time within the last ten minutes. "I hope those swords aren't just for show."

Santa clamped a large hand on his shoulder to restrain him. "Wait. There are only four exorcists in the building. You cannot take on all of them by yourself. I expect the Millennium would bring in everyone for an attack on a headquarters."

"We'll have to try," Kanda snapped, yanking his shoulder away.

Santa grinned. It wasn't very jolly. "You won't have to."

* * *

Jasdero grinned. He was a few feet away from where the infirmary had originally stood, and he could see the pile of blankets on the ground clearly with no walls in the way. There was rubble all over the ground. The little girl had climbed out and her head was just visible. Jasdero gestured to Debito, who hurried to catch up from where she had been lagging behind. Before they could reach them, though, Jasdero slipped. Debito stifled a laugh so as not to alert the child as to their presence. They were pretty sure she had Innocence. The laugh fell away as she realized the ground was coated in ice.

* * *

Jack could barely feel the icy air around him. He was too busy mulling over the warning Sandy had given him. It had been rather confused, but enough for him to get the point that he had somewhere to be. The wind was carrying him over steep mountains in France to the moody weathered area of England. He was probably only a few minutes off, but he wished he was closer. All he had gotten from the message was that North was there, he was in danger, and there was a kid involved. That wasn't a good combination of things.

It wasn't hard to figure out what had been the cause for concern. The large structure on the island that he had been heading towards had been almost totally leveled off at the ninth floor. The cold wind lightly set him down, and he dropped down into a crouch. Even though no one could see him, it was obvious that the intention of wiping away the ceiling had been to expose everyone. Most of the walls were gone, even. And this had been done fast, and recently. A kid was in here? He sure hoped not. This looked more like warfare than a child's playground.

He straightened and padded a few steps forward. He leapt up to a larger rubble pile to a get a better look of everything. It was still hard to see, because walls did still block the way. They hadn't destroyed absolutely everything, whoever 'they' were. He took some larger jumps, landing on precarious walls briefly to jump to another. He began to hear voices, and jumped closer and closer. A burst of wind came up behind him to push him forward to the last wall standing between him and the voices. Crouching on top, Jack surveyed the scene below. The remains of the wind blew up his hood over his head, momentarily obscuring his sight, and the people below shivered from it. They must have been cold. He could see their breaths.

Silently, he bid the wind go around them. It was cold enough as is without making it worse on them. And their situation was already dire without worrying about freezing too.

There were adults grouped together directly beneath him. Strange creatures were moving through them, tying up ones that hadn't already been restrained. Occasionally, an adult would fight back, but it usually ended in something violent being done towards them. Adjacent to them was a group of grey skinned people. They seemed to be psychopaths, grinning at the sight in front of them. And directly in their line of sight were three kids, two boys and a girl, who were scratched up and bleeding from a fight.

Jack gripped his staff tighter. North was nowhere to be seen. These kids needed help, too. Immediately. Why wasn't he here?

Inadvertently, his flash of anger had caused a flash of frost to race down the wall from where he was sitting to the people below. A man of Chinese origin looked up, glasses flashing. He was wearing a beret, and his hair was pulled back into a short ponytail. Jack would have been meeting his eyes if the man could have seen him.

They both looked back to the grey people. One of them snarled something about finding a child and someone else who should have been in the building. Four of the grey people set off to look, two for the child and two for the other person.

Hah! Jack Frost could beat them in that race.

He turned sharply and jumped off the wall before he had fully completed the turn. The result was the wind sending him spinning through the air sideways. After about fifty meters of moving through the air, listening, he grabbed a passing wall and spun himself to the top gracefully. He stood up on tiptoes, listening for any signs of life. He closed his eyes, floating an inch above the wall without realizing it. The wind brought sounds to him from multiple directions. To his immediate right, in the opposite way he had come, there was a rustle of blankets. He jumped, clearing a few piles of rubble, before his feet hit the ground and he ran the last few yards on light feet. He skidded to a stop on a cover of frost, dropping to his knees before he fully stopped. He leaned forward on his forearms, smiling at the surprised girl.

"Hey, little one," he murmured. "Bit scary here, hm? It's going to be alright. Everyone here's just playing a really elaborate game. Pretty silly, isn't it?"

She looked at him like he had grown a second head.

"It's okay. Hey, they're having their own game. Why don't we have ours? Would that be fun?"

She nodded slightly.

"Let's do that, then!"

He saw a flash of movement over her shoulder. He glanced up, and saw two of the people who had let to see the girl. The one had his eyes on her, and his grin wasn't pleasant. Jack tapped his staff on the ground lightly, and a tendril of frost snaked out in front of the man. He slipped and fell on his back as he took a step forward. The woman - if she could really be called that - behind him laughed before realizing that the ice hadn't been there a second ago.

Before they recovered and the girl had the chance to turn around, he bundled her up in his arms, staff sandwiched between them, and leapt into the air.

* * *

"Millennium…" Road muttered, interrupting one of his tirades as he tried to get information from anyone in the room. He glared at her. "She's flying…."

"What?"

"The girl is flying," she muttered, "with nothing causing her to fly. She's not using Innocence. I can't sense any."

"That's imposs-"

Road pointed up into the sky. Everyone's eyes followed her finger to see the small child up in the air. Now that they were listening, they could hear the faint sounds of laughter.

The Millennium spat out a curse, and grabbed Lero from behind him where he had been leaning against a wall. He brandished the umbrella, firing a shot at the girl. It was a concise form of what he had unleashed at Edo.

The shot knocked her out of the sky. She plummeted with a scream. The wind picked up harshly, slowing her descent drastically. The Millennium jumped up into the air, catching the back of her shirt. He landed, and turned her around to face him. She jerked away in surprise when she saw his face. "You shouldn't have run-"

He broke off with a yell as he felt his umbrella freeze to his hand. Lero let out a yelp of pain as well. The Earl inadvertently dropped the girl, but she didn't hit the ground. Something moved in between her and it, carrying her away from the large being. She rose up slightly, as if she were being held protectively by someone. The Millennium fired off another shot like before, but she moved too fast to be hit by it.

A wave of ice rose up in the center of the room, and she skidded along a few feet above it. She let out a surprised laugh as she went through a loop-the-loop, not even noticing that she had barely avoided being hit again.

"There's someone else _there_…" the Earl snarled. Skin cracked his neck, and shot a bolt of lightning towards where she should have been. Again, whatever was holding her dodged, ducking low, and then jumping back up again to avoid another one. Skin stopped the lightning when a snowball smacked him in the face.

Allen let out a bark of laughter despite the situation.

* * *

Lavi yanked the rope off of Allen's wrist, and his friend turned around immediately and did the same for him. Linali was already out, standing up and surveying the surrounding scene. Whoever was in command of the ice was giving hell to three Noah, all of them throwing back everything they had at them. Some of the ice attacks worked and some of them didn't, but there didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to the ones that did and didn't. It was making it hard for the child's savior. With a yell, she activated her Innocence and jumped forward, slamming her dark boots into the nearest Noah. The one next to it slipped on a patch of ice as he turned to hit her.

She and the last of the three Noah jumped as a ruckus came from nearby. The sounds were loud enough that everyone in the room stopped and turned.

A herd of reindeer knocked over a wall with frost on it, jumping just in time to avoid trampling all the prisoners who had been behind it. The reindeer broke up as soon as they went through the wall, scattering into the group. Friend or foe, everyone seemed to be a neutral party. Linali froze in sudden fear and surprise, not sure whose side the reindeer were on. But… the harnesses… the bells… Was that…?

Santa?!

Now that she thought about it, there had been that huge controversy when she was younger with the lack of faith for a few days in Santa, the Easter Bunny, and everyone else. But when all the faith came back, it came back twice as strong as before. She had been one of the ones it had affected.

Caught up in her own thoughts, she barely registered the reindeer coming at her from the side. She heard Allen yell her name, and only had time to see it coming at her.

Then someone knocked her down, and she was on her back watching the reindeer jump over her, bucking its back legs up into the air and tossing its head as it slammed into the nearest Noah who wasn't fast enough to move.

"Lavi-?" she broke off as she looked at the person on top of her. The white hair was almost as shocking as the red, but it was a different shade than Allen's. This hair was tinged blue, or maybe it just appeared that way because of the bright blue eyes and sweater he was wearing.

* * *

"Oh my God, his teeth are _so white_!" Tooth giggled, jumping up and down. "And so unbelievably _large_! They just don't make them like this anymore!"

Bunny groaned. "Focus, Tooth. Jack's not going to be able to hold off entirely on his own. Normally, if they can't see us, they'll just go through us, but whatever they're using is another matter entirely. I guess the normal way doesn't matter. Let's hit 'em with stuff and see what works and what doesn't."

"The hell with guessing, I know for a fact _this_'ll piss him off." The samurai jumped past the wall they were behind, stabbing his katana at the Earl. The grey man moved just in time, changing Lero into his sword to clash the two together.

"North, go help him out. Tooth, get the child out of here so Frosty can do something productive besides dodge lightning bolts," Bunny said. The two jumped away. North blocked a blow aimed for Kanda's head that the latter had already dodged, but that left him free to slash at the Millennium's side. It wasn't really fair to have two expert swordsman, one of them invisible, against another expert swordsman, but the etiquette rules had already been thrown out the window and burned by now. Tooth grabbed the girl out of Frost's hands, flying off and out of range of the fight. "Sandy, start releasing prisoners." Tendrils of sand snaked into the bonds, loosening them up. The Finders and scientists could feel the ties unwrap, and started yanking them off the rest of the way and scurrying out of the immediate area to avoid getting hit.

Bunny jumped forward, but went through the Noah he had tried to knock down. "Agh," he said in complaint. Jack was having a similar problem that none of his attacks worked. "We can only attack their weapons! North, are your reindeer nearby?"

"Yes!"

"Let them loose!"

"What?"

"Those are the scariest animals I've ever met, and people certainly believe in reindeer!"

North grinned and gave a shrill whistle.

* * *

Lavi froze, certain Linali was about to be trampled. Something slammed into her, and for an instant, Lavi saw a boy grimace as the reindeer's hoofs slammed into his back. He didn't get a better glimpse than that, however. Linali was staring in shock at something that only she could see. She reached out slowly and touched something above her. "Jack Frost," he was close enough to hear her say.

It fit so perfectly. It was Christmas. It had been a long day. It was Kanda's fault. It was the tone in which she said it in.

It could have been, and probably was, a lot of things, but something clicked in his mind and for a second, he was five years old believing in all of the childhood magic again. It was enough was what it was.

The boy was leaning over her, having not had time to move away yet. That, or the surprise on his face was keeping him there. It was rivaled only by Linali's. Her fingertips were resting on his cheeks, as if assuring herself that he was really there. The boy looked equally stunned that he could see her.

Lavi caught a flash of red back by the Millennium and turned his head to see the big man himself, side by side with Kanda (oh my God, did _he_ **know**?!) and taking on the Millennium with a ferocious look in his eyes and a grin on his face. Lavi turned around in a full circle, not noticing the fact that his friend was fighting for his life with a Noah right beside him, taking in things he could only now suddenly see. Including-

* * *

Allen was doing fine. He was pretty sure he had been about to win that fight in a few seconds… until his idiot friend yelled, almost right in his ear, "_Holy shit, the EASTER BUNNY!"_ Allen jumped away from the Noah and Lavi in reflex to the loud noise. The Noah jumped in surprise as well and fell on backwards onto his butt.

"Lavi, what-?"

Lavi kicked the Noah away on the layer of ice that had suddenly appeared beneath him, then turned to Allen. He grabbed his shoulders, looking at him seriously in the eyes. "Allen, work with me for a second."

"Lavi, what-?"

"Shut up, no questions. Close your eyes. Do it!" He added in the last bit when Allen just continued to eye him skeptically. "Imagine, for a moment, that everything you thought was real as a child is. Santa Claus, Jack Frost, Sand-"

"I never believed."

"Jesus, Allen, you had no childhood! Then think about it now! Imagine that they're real. And Sandman and Jack Frost are too. That Santa Claus looks like a huge Russian with a sword. Two swords, actually. That the Easter Bunny is an Aussie jackrabbit with boomerangs. That Jack Frost is a teenage boy. That Sandman is short and fat and has a bunch of golden sand he can float on. Think about it. That maybe they were real the whole time. And that maybe, just maybe, they were all around you. And-" Lavi broke off suddenly.

"Fucking idiot rabbit, leave the beansprout alone and kick some Noah ass!"

"_What did you just call me, bitch?!_"

Kanda hit the ground and rolled, a boomerang flying overhead. He got up to better yell at the bush-folk, kangaroo-like, fluffy guy with the big feet and big-ass ears. "Not you, the _other_ one!" The boomerang came back, smacking the Millennium upside the head.

"You got this?" North asked him.

"Before you were born," Kanda shot back.

North grinned, and shot away to start taking on some other Noah. Jack Frost shot by on a layer of ice, skidding away to knock into some Noah. Lavi's voice had carried louder than he had wanted it to, and had the same effect on them as Linali's words had to him.

"I'll bet I can drop more of them than you!" Jack yelled at Bunny as the layer of ice in the air he was skidding on knocked into the back of a Noah's head.

"Oh, bring it!" His attempt to jump and squash someone worked a lot better now that he didn't go through them anymore. "Three down for me!"

"Four!"

A sand pile flitted into the shape of a three above his head.

"Only four left!" Jack yelled down at Bunny. "Better catch up!"

A white tendril snaked past, slamming the Noah Jack had been almost on top of into a wall. He looked back in brief confusion to see Allen - mask down and innocence activated - smirking. "Hey, we're not chopped liver here."

* * *

"I totally beat you," Bunny challenged as he wiped off some grime from his foot. Jack was sitting on the remains of the wall he had sat on before, amusedly watching him go about this.

"Only because the redhead over there knocked one straight into your path and you got two down at the same time. Which technically makes it his point."

"He's giving that point to me since he's not even in the running."

"Well, if you're doing it like that, then the Millennium was worth ten!" North boasted.

"You've got to split it with the guy you were fighting with, and since I think he was doing more than you, you get four points," Bunny quickly amended.

"Wait," Jack said, frowning. "If I got four, Sandy got three, you got five, Santa got four, and the other guy with the white hair there got one… then technically, your friend must have knocked out someone else and he's got six."

They all turned to look at Kanda. Kanda glared back. "Don't pull _me_ into your retarded game."

"Then by default, I win!"

"Not fair! You still get second place even if first place doesn't accept his position."

"It doesn't work like that!"

Linali padded carefully over the carnage over to North. "So… what were you all doing here?"

"Other than kicking butt?" Bunny said modestly, retrieving one of his boomerangs from the ground.

"I mean why."

"I was delivering presents when I heard the ruckus. Sandman was in the area and I alerted him. He alerted Jack. I sent Kanda to alert Tooth. Bunny heard from one of Tooth's helpers. There were children in danger, so we came to help." Without turning around to see Kanda's sour expression, he deadpanned, "Kanda, you're over eighteen. You don't count as a child."

"Do you two know each other?" Allen asked incredulously, putting two and two together since Santa had "sent Kanda to alert Tooth". "Kanda, I thought you said you didn't believe in Santa!"

"I don't believe in some fat, old, jolly guy who drives around in a little sled with a bag full of toys pulled by reindeer with glowing noses."

"It can't even be called a sled," Jack muttered. "More like a small airplane."

"You were dropping off presents for Kanda?" Lavi asked. Kanda face-palmed.

"No, he's on the naughty list," Santa replied, shaking his head. "Again."

"Is he usually at the top?" Allen snickered.

Jack laughed, almost falling off the wall. "Almost always! But my record still stands for having been up there for more years than anyone."

"I doubt that," Kanda snapped back.

"I've got at least three hundred years on you!"

"Got you there, Kanda," Lavi muttered.

"We were dropping off presents for Linali, of course," Santa said, interrupting the banter. "I was, anyway. Sandy was helping you all off to sleep."

"Heh, the only one here who would've made the nice list for sure," Allen said, laughing again.

"Occasionally you or Lavi makes it on," Santa replied shortly. "Very rarely. And we still drop off presents for Kanda, even though he makes the naughty list every year."

"Kanda, you're going to have to tell us how you know Santa," Lavi said.

"No."

"Please?"

"I hate you, go away."

"What! Kanda, that's rude!"

"I don't care!"

Allen rubbed his temples. "I think I'm dreaming. This situation is just too weird."

"I know, isn't it?" Jack grinned. "I'll leave you all some ice to remember. And by the way, did any of you call back up?"

The Chinese man he had seen earlier stood up. "Yeah, we managed to get a call in, but we were cut off pretty quickly. Not sure if they knew what was happening or not."

"Oh, they knew. There's a full-fledged assault coming this way." He pointed behind him.

Santa whistled, trying to round up the reindeer. It was no easy task, and most of them were still running around by the time he had three of them tied together and to a pole that seemed strong enough to hold them temporarily. They were still antsy, and probably doing more damage to each other than they had to the Noah.

Linali gestured at them. "Don't you need them to go deliver the rest of the presents?"

"I already did. I came here last."

When the seven Exorcists and five CROW came into view, they stopped dead immediately. All thirteen Noah and the Millennium were on the ground in some state of general discomfort, whether it be tied up, unconscious for the next few days, or what. There was rope all over the place, and frozen ice sheets covered random surfaces, it seemed. There wasn't a whole lot, if any, blood splattered around. The reindeer that were tied up had the most, probably from kicking each other. No one was dead, or even remotely injured.

And then there was the fact that the whole top part of the building was gone, but they could get back to that later. Since the zombie incident, structural problems were often overlooked until the last.

"What the hell…" Cross muttered, stalking out from his position. "We got some message about the whole building being under siege." He glared at Komui. "You let something loose again."

"Actually, we were too busy freezing to do much of that," Komui said dryly, and shot a glance to North to explain things.

"They can't see us, remember?" North said. "Up to you to explain." He reached out and snatched a hold of another reindeer's fur, and proceeded to muscle it over to the rest. To the newcomers, it looked like the reindeer abruptly changed direction against its will as it tossed its head and bucked. "Hey, Bunny, want to help?"

"Nah, I'm good," the Aussie called back.

"Where did all the reindeer come from?" Bookman asked as the new group began to fan out, assessing damages and making sure the Noah really were out.

"Santa Claus landed his sleigh and decided to let the reindeer loose to knock some sense into the Noah," Allen deadpanned. "Duh."

Everyone new gave him a very dry and very irritable look.

"No, seriously," Lavi said.

Bookman smacked him upside the head. "Idiot apprentice. _Santa_? Really?"

"Yeah. Did you know that he used to be a Cossack?"

The CROW and new batch of Exorcists stopped asking what had happened, fed up with the lame excuses. They began assessing damages and tending what few wounds there were. They decided, for their own sanity and dignity, to simply ignore the reindeer who were being shepherded non-too-gently together. By the time the last two were being strung together, the pole they were attached to had nearly been pulled from the ground. Everyone took care to get nowhere near them.

Sandman created a slide for Bunny and North to push the sleigh over as they moved it closer. The two strung up the reindeer to the sleigh and released them from the pole. They moved away from it immediately, knocking down the pole with the sleigh and causing anyone in their path to run for cover. Bunny and North jumped in, and Sandy floated in next. "Jack! Come on, ride's leaving!"

"Nah, I want to see how this turns out! I'll see you in a few hours!" he called back. North shrugged, and the reindeer started running.

It must have been a very confusing sight to see the reindeer suddenly be attached to a sleigh, take off running, and then abruptly vanish around the time they started flying. For everyone else, though, it was beautiful to see them launch and fly through the air. Santa opened his portal, and the sleigh went through.

* * *

"Outrageous and irresponsible!" Louvelier roared at them. "I don't know what happened here today, but this will put a black mark on all of your records! A multitude of people are going to be suspended, and some of you will not be allowed back here! Blaming all of this on _Santa Claus…._"

"We're not blaming it _on_ him," Allen said shortly. "He was right there, kicking butt with us. _He _didn't make the Noah attack."

"Wasn't just Santa, either," Lavi muttered, gaze flickering behind Louvelier to look at Jack. They were in Louvelier's office in the Order base. They had been about to move to this one earlier, but between sheer laziness, multiple mishaps, and that whole zombie thing, it had been postponed for months. This was just one more reason to go. Jack had probably figured this all out after rifling through the immediate files on Louvelier's desk absently. He had given up on that a few seconds later, and sat perfectly balanced on the crook of his staff for a few minutes. After that, he had started walking the edge of the desk, arms out for mock balance, moving on tiptoes. "There are some other strange folk about."

"You're trying to get me to believe in _fairy tales_?!" Louvelier yelled.

"Well, you're an adult, so I don't think they really give a damn about whether or not you believe," Allen stoutly said.

"You're all _almost_ adults! I can't believe you're acting this immaturely! Kanda, you're going along with this?!"

Kanda shot him a flat stare. "I don't see any reason why they can't exist."

A strangled sound escaped Louvelier's mouth.

"Come on, just because you can't see something doesn't mean you can't believe it," Lavi chided lightly.

"I can't see faeries, and they don't exist either! What _actually_ happened?"

"Guys, he's right," Linali sadly admitted. "See, he wasn't alone. The Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny-"

"Agh!" Louvelier abruptly yelled. "And now you're bringing _other_ fictional people in to this?"

"They kinda brought themselves into it, actually."

"Do you have _any_ proof whatsoever?" Louvelier ground out, clearly trying to get his emotions under control.

"Apart from all the love and hope that filled the air even after they had left?" Lavi cheekily said.

Louvelier took an angry step towards them, a second away from hitting someone.

A snowball burst at the back of his head.

He turned around, confused. A second one hit him in the face. Linali grinned, seeing Jack toss a third snowball up and down in his hand. He took a few steps forward so he could reach up and tap Louvelier on the nose. A few snowflakes drifted down from the ceiling as he did so.

"I don't think you're going to get him to believe any time soon," Jack said, looking over his shoulder at them. "Thanks for the try, I suppose."

"Nah," Allen said, grinning, "it was funny."

Louvelier looked at him in surprise and shuddered reflexively as a cold breeze blew past him. He turned to close the window, but the window was already shut.

Jack clapped a hand on Allen's shoulder. "By the way…happy birthday."

Jack Frost twirled his staff, and used the hook to open the window. He took a long leap, touching down on the floor briefly so he could propel himself out the window. A gust of wind picked him up and carried him away. Louvelier stared at the open window until a breeze slowly shut it.

"What…the hell…"

The four teens left the room a few minutes later, grinning their heads off.

The next year, Santa visited them again. He brought a couple friends to help.

* * *

a/n: The reason behind the appearance of the random reindeer: _Those were some seriously badass reindeer in the movie. _I mean, they never mention that Rudolph had to get into a cage fight with the other reindeer to get accepted as a part of them. Holy trombone on a pogo stick…

By the way, if someone wants to do a crack fic where Lavi and Allen decide to fight off the Millennium with an attack called "Kanda Style" (which is Gangnam style, but which a really serious expression that looks like they're about to kill everyone and a katana), we would both so read it. And Road would totally join in, wouldn't she?


End file.
